Its hard to accept, thinking, that there will be a time,
When you’d no longer be there
For me to gaze upon in delight ….
because…………….
There lies a fortress in my mind,
Concealed from every view,
Which hides in darkness, well confined,
My thoughts and dreams of you
No one understands me like you do;
You see me deep inside,
You choose to overlook my flaws,
Chiefly the ones I try to hide…
I have my reasons to deem wat I do,
Coz it is me who has endured it through….
A truth filled with blessing and wonder,
A truth with a voice as loud as thunder.
A truth that’s Insistent Something, nameless and unsought,
And as candour as rambling from a 10 year olds thought…..
I would miss a lot of things..
It's the kiss....before the exit
It's the bliss.....after having a fight
It's the remembering certain dates
It's the tempering when one is late
It's the memories you leave at the door
It's the muse... you call your amour….
I would.. in point of fact…miss life!!!
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Sunday, July 22, 2007
way to nowhere...
This is the commencement, this is the end
It is everything, from then to now…
Every payment
The past and the future come together like water and oil,
It's so clean yet covered in soil.
I see the light, yet I'm in the dark,
I'm so together and yet so broken apart
I want to break the doors
Holding back my dream,
I want to run away
But there's nothing out there.
I want to shatter windows,
That look out on nowhere
For I am scared and poignant now
More than ever at present.
Tears cloud my eyes as pen meets paper,
And I hope for my ascent.
Am I running from something I cannot???
Running from self is very brief
Before we are again hunting for relief……
Yet I follow my perilous path,
To wherever it mite be leading and well, it may,
Onto something new and even more rewarding.
Exquisiteness fades away. Cause stops it none…
Time ticks along and years fly bye...
Waiting for the moment and looking for the place
To have the perfect conduit, to be the vital ace
Happiness is that I chase
And hope to find someday.
I'll count the means again I'm sure,
There is always another way . . .
It is everything, from then to now…
Every payment
The past and the future come together like water and oil,
It's so clean yet covered in soil.
I see the light, yet I'm in the dark,
I'm so together and yet so broken apart
I want to break the doors
Holding back my dream,
I want to run away
But there's nothing out there.
I want to shatter windows,
That look out on nowhere
For I am scared and poignant now
More than ever at present.
Tears cloud my eyes as pen meets paper,
And I hope for my ascent.
Am I running from something I cannot???
Running from self is very brief
Before we are again hunting for relief……
Yet I follow my perilous path,
To wherever it mite be leading and well, it may,
Onto something new and even more rewarding.
Exquisiteness fades away. Cause stops it none…
Time ticks along and years fly bye...
Waiting for the moment and looking for the place
To have the perfect conduit, to be the vital ace
Happiness is that I chase
And hope to find someday.
I'll count the means again I'm sure,
There is always another way . . .
Manifest content!!!
I ,for all real reasons, am sometimes perplexed by the satirical way our life seems to roll on…sometimes
So, immaculate, that the evil seems to be a teacher in disguise and regrets don’t have a place to occupy…and at times,invidious,that u can loathe even the things u need to be grateful about...Probably that’s the way its supposed to function maintaining the serene balance between “what is” and moving a step further to attain “what ought to be”.
A girl in my close connection, rather an immediate cousin of mine, got through a national assessment recently…and her effigy changed for ever. In the eyes of all…a beautiful female being considered vain 4 d past x many years had to carve a niche for herself to prove that she was worth the love and attention she was deprived of all these years. Materialistic pleasures weren’t kept off hand as she had fabulous parents but mental calm wasn’t one of her belongings... Pusillanimity, fear, seclusion, quietness were her daily playmates. Her purpose, prime mover and first cause was to live the dream she wanted to…and so she did. But what intrigues me is that how can a mere white parchment of paper rank your credibility and accountability? Just one analysis proved her worth? Why is social stature and acclaim of great consequence? I have seen her ridiculed 4 being “the way she was” and not being “what she should have been”…but possibly now she’ll have d individualism to be what she wants to be…(yeah!!!But how better it would have been if she or many others as she didnt have to go through this trial of possession of equality in ways like this)…
I’m evoked by the conventions laid by us on us…her triumph delights me. her longest battle and the only victory…but makes me exasperated altogether thinking of numerous others who didn’t get the right ‘shot’ at the right time and are still waiting for the so called parameters to tell them that they are worth the belief…that your dreams are your own…
Lets hope we can get out of this illusive world of dos and don’ts and do what we actually can do the best…there aren’t any guidelines to happiness and sorrow…no set parameters on how life needs to be lived…we know it better than anybody else cause we are living it…..
So, immaculate, that the evil seems to be a teacher in disguise and regrets don’t have a place to occupy…and at times,invidious,that u can loathe even the things u need to be grateful about...Probably that’s the way its supposed to function maintaining the serene balance between “what is” and moving a step further to attain “what ought to be”.
A girl in my close connection, rather an immediate cousin of mine, got through a national assessment recently…and her effigy changed for ever. In the eyes of all…a beautiful female being considered vain 4 d past x many years had to carve a niche for herself to prove that she was worth the love and attention she was deprived of all these years. Materialistic pleasures weren’t kept off hand as she had fabulous parents but mental calm wasn’t one of her belongings... Pusillanimity, fear, seclusion, quietness were her daily playmates. Her purpose, prime mover and first cause was to live the dream she wanted to…and so she did. But what intrigues me is that how can a mere white parchment of paper rank your credibility and accountability? Just one analysis proved her worth? Why is social stature and acclaim of great consequence? I have seen her ridiculed 4 being “the way she was” and not being “what she should have been”…but possibly now she’ll have d individualism to be what she wants to be…(yeah!!!But how better it would have been if she or many others as she didnt have to go through this trial of possession of equality in ways like this)…
I’m evoked by the conventions laid by us on us…her triumph delights me. her longest battle and the only victory…but makes me exasperated altogether thinking of numerous others who didn’t get the right ‘shot’ at the right time and are still waiting for the so called parameters to tell them that they are worth the belief…that your dreams are your own…
Lets hope we can get out of this illusive world of dos and don’ts and do what we actually can do the best…there aren’t any guidelines to happiness and sorrow…no set parameters on how life needs to be lived…we know it better than anybody else cause we are living it…..
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Valediction!!
Well I think or rather i'm sure that any 19 year old or who has had a brush with d
Whole experience of being this 'professional' 4 a while in d process of attaining a few
extra bucks n grooming 4 instance (a very marked controversial word though) agrees
that it’s not as glittery n glam as it appears on d tabloids though.....not to d
least even....
I 4 one have a little but an influencing experience at this call centre at remotest
Of all places.....one thing is for sure that it isn’t about people clad in super
Chic executive suits and there r no pretty faces across d table...there is a lot
more at stake than it appears to..
having its existence amidst a town which wasn’t an area of competition for many
gave me an edge over d whole thing n having this tête-à-tête with each one of
them at one point or another...
being surprisingly the only female (not to mention another in d manage.)in dozens of
men puzzled me to a great deal for a bare instant but then imagining the degree
Of distress the SIMILAR SEX could have caused me in a place like this with
Constant vacuous blabber made me feel at peace. Every character that I conversed
Within these four walls has taught me a thing or two (though unknowingly!!!) n has
Left an imprint on me....
I cam a novice with a longing to experience what I heard so much about and
Believe me (dean style) got a decent amount to take along....though not
Categorizing it as good or bad!!!!Lemme start with d ppl behind this so called
international thingy "genius"
Tarun sir n neena ma'm..., d authority as told to us...have to b thankful to sir
For the blissful ten min he gave me to stick to this machine went I wanted it d
Most...a total sleep addict n a softie at heart (umm at least that’s what I’ve
seen)...n his partner in d crime is the lady who handles the emotions n ahh
Caters to d sentiments of this establishment....
D actual brains and d ace behind this network is ohh soo famous mr carter.d
Enigma, passion n zeal he possesses for his work is laudable n inspiring...all of
We have spent the actual time n space with him on the floor n d place is neva on
its toes when he is not around. The constant"sale nikalo yaar","woh manegi yaar
bahen banao maa bano" has given us enough reasons to burst into fits of laughter
More than once...but later ive realized that this stupid thing actually works...ha
Can show u a 'piece de resistance' with not so grammatically correct but
Undeniably the most convincing speech...believe me guys is what comes
Effortlessly out of his maw...my meticulous mentor in this warfare....but beware
Don’t get on d wrong side of him or things turn ugly...
ps: those sluggishly shoed in feet need to be set free!!!!!!!!
How can I not mention someone I have actually conversed with about I guess
Anything (ironically) n everything....Mr. masood or riz as his frnz call him....how
Much I know him or how well was always a food for thought for every single soul
Around...the mystery still remains!!!!
An amazing person, one who led me past every fear I had for this channel and
walked along as a bulwark around me...stupendous talker and atrociously
Flirtatious (till u want to hide Ur head like an ostrich)...strong willed n a kid
At heart.....quiet but eloquent. A total freak!!!!Learnt a lot n developed this
Inexpressible bond.....bless u!!!
There are a couple of others in this "elite clan" who I didn’t get a chance to get
Personal with... cute smiled n good hearted Manu aka mrityunjay sir(as told)..N
Darling of d agent’s surjit sir..A great talker...n rumored a rapper too...guys
Went berserk n were gushing about him within just a day in training...shucks!!!I
missed it.....
But my actual playmates were d ppl I called along with...the agents...my sweetest
N closest one was sardar (as I call
him)..Harry...genuine...funny...miser (ooppss!!) n fantabulous person who i told
Every kind of detail about d time I spent in here...max...or rahul...a consistent
Worker. Lady killer (d only sales he had were ladies n spoke to dm 4 hours
aimlesly..n stuck o to hz cell as if he was born with it...ajay bhai or rather
Didi coz he had dis weird femenine side to him that he couldn’t hide anymore and
loved to dance (like chameli n lovd paro) n cook...hehe...u got to c his moves..bt
an adorable guy...vinay d google.com as he had every info u'd want about anybdy
at his disposal..wen did he get all dat tym...rex..d gizmo freak who taught us d
art of hacking gprs n using d services for free..he rocks!! bali...an outspoken
true charsi who treated me like a younger sis...felt damn comfortable with
him..n many more...
I lived a lifetime in this mere month n hope to encounter each one of them once
Again in days to come...thez ppl rock!!!fabulous callers..n yeah a piece of
Advice drop d side talks..U people r smarter than that...wat u sow so shall u
Reap!!!!Will miss ya people n specially d cab ride but wana go back to my real life
than this reel life...bestiez n lots of luck 4m my side......blesses!!!!
Whole experience of being this 'professional' 4 a while in d process of attaining a few
extra bucks n grooming 4 instance (a very marked controversial word though) agrees
that it’s not as glittery n glam as it appears on d tabloids though.....not to d
least even....
I 4 one have a little but an influencing experience at this call centre at remotest
Of all places.....one thing is for sure that it isn’t about people clad in super
Chic executive suits and there r no pretty faces across d table...there is a lot
more at stake than it appears to..
having its existence amidst a town which wasn’t an area of competition for many
gave me an edge over d whole thing n having this tête-à-tête with each one of
them at one point or another...
being surprisingly the only female (not to mention another in d manage.)in dozens of
men puzzled me to a great deal for a bare instant but then imagining the degree
Of distress the SIMILAR SEX could have caused me in a place like this with
Constant vacuous blabber made me feel at peace. Every character that I conversed
Within these four walls has taught me a thing or two (though unknowingly!!!) n has
Left an imprint on me....
I cam a novice with a longing to experience what I heard so much about and
Believe me (dean style) got a decent amount to take along....though not
Categorizing it as good or bad!!!!Lemme start with d ppl behind this so called
international thingy "genius"
Tarun sir n neena ma'm..., d authority as told to us...have to b thankful to sir
For the blissful ten min he gave me to stick to this machine went I wanted it d
Most...a total sleep addict n a softie at heart (umm at least that’s what I’ve
seen)...n his partner in d crime is the lady who handles the emotions n ahh
Caters to d sentiments of this establishment....
D actual brains and d ace behind this network is ohh soo famous mr carter.d
Enigma, passion n zeal he possesses for his work is laudable n inspiring...all of
We have spent the actual time n space with him on the floor n d place is neva on
its toes when he is not around. The constant"sale nikalo yaar","woh manegi yaar
bahen banao maa bano" has given us enough reasons to burst into fits of laughter
More than once...but later ive realized that this stupid thing actually works...ha
Can show u a 'piece de resistance' with not so grammatically correct but
Undeniably the most convincing speech...believe me guys is what comes
Effortlessly out of his maw...my meticulous mentor in this warfare....but beware
Don’t get on d wrong side of him or things turn ugly...
ps: those sluggishly shoed in feet need to be set free!!!!!!!!
How can I not mention someone I have actually conversed with about I guess
Anything (ironically) n everything....Mr. masood or riz as his frnz call him....how
Much I know him or how well was always a food for thought for every single soul
Around...the mystery still remains!!!!
An amazing person, one who led me past every fear I had for this channel and
walked along as a bulwark around me...stupendous talker and atrociously
Flirtatious (till u want to hide Ur head like an ostrich)...strong willed n a kid
At heart.....quiet but eloquent. A total freak!!!!Learnt a lot n developed this
Inexpressible bond.....bless u!!!
There are a couple of others in this "elite clan" who I didn’t get a chance to get
Personal with... cute smiled n good hearted Manu aka mrityunjay sir(as told)..N
Darling of d agent’s surjit sir..A great talker...n rumored a rapper too...guys
Went berserk n were gushing about him within just a day in training...shucks!!!I
missed it.....
But my actual playmates were d ppl I called along with...the agents...my sweetest
N closest one was sardar (as I call
him)..Harry...genuine...funny...miser (ooppss!!) n fantabulous person who i told
Every kind of detail about d time I spent in here...max...or rahul...a consistent
Worker. Lady killer (d only sales he had were ladies n spoke to dm 4 hours
aimlesly..n stuck o to hz cell as if he was born with it...ajay bhai or rather
Didi coz he had dis weird femenine side to him that he couldn’t hide anymore and
loved to dance (like chameli n lovd paro) n cook...hehe...u got to c his moves..bt
an adorable guy...vinay d google.com as he had every info u'd want about anybdy
at his disposal..wen did he get all dat tym...rex..d gizmo freak who taught us d
art of hacking gprs n using d services for free..he rocks!! bali...an outspoken
true charsi who treated me like a younger sis...felt damn comfortable with
him..n many more...
I lived a lifetime in this mere month n hope to encounter each one of them once
Again in days to come...thez ppl rock!!!fabulous callers..n yeah a piece of
Advice drop d side talks..U people r smarter than that...wat u sow so shall u
Reap!!!!Will miss ya people n specially d cab ride but wana go back to my real life
than this reel life...bestiez n lots of luck 4m my side......blesses!!!!
Questions....
While sitting quietly by my window on this hot afternoon n gazing out at two quiet
Pups sitting by the road sides I was wondering what all of us want from our
Lives....ok 2day im pursuing my graduation and eventually will do whatever is in
Store for me but what next...when will this quest take a halt......
Probably I guess happiness is d mother of all goals, what we really want beyond
happiness, is to rediscover d mystery of our being I
think.....HAPPINESS.....literally a state of being free mentally in a state of
satisfaction...I opine that it’s rather a state of consciousness that always
exists within us though distracted by all kinds of veils...
Whenever we discover the real joy within everything seems to fall back into place
and connection to one n all is inevitable...a faith that nothing is impossible
or beyond our power...this power gives us freedom from limitations and allows us
to realize what actually v aspire to n d abundance v possess....I find myself
becoming beacons of light n love and v nurture d atmosphere around us...even more
significantly it improves the relationships around us n makes them
fulfilling. more d happiness more v experience the synchronicity and meaningful
Coincidence of desire fulfillment n our intentions being realized d right way...
maybe im too naive to understand d whole complexity of this cosmic mind but when i'm
in this state of glee I feel as every natural power is eavesdropping to place d
parts of d puzzles into their respective places...
I’m delighted 4 whatever ive got till now...but i’m curious as to y things exist d way
they do...y is there so much dissatisfaction on a personal front n I don’t exclude
myself 4m that...but what I strongly believe in is...is KARMA..Blindly...
Don’t know y i’m writing all this but recent course of events have driven my thought
Process even more vigorously and as suggested by somebody freedom of speech cures
all mental evils...consequence is what im yearning for....
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