All in a day's work!!

whoA!!!! I really need to set all my skills of exageration and explanations ready if I have to describe yesterday with the honour of it intact coz it was one hell of a day..for everybody else it mite have been a usual day or a boring one maybe bt not us..it was not any where next to normal even leave alone usual..

the beginning of the day didn’t tip off anything of that sort…my friends had completed a year of their union and we were ecstatic cause we had seen this relationship blossom in front of us with joy ,love ,tantrums, fights, bullying almost anything and everything and the only motive to gather In barista was to drill a hole in his pocket for this celebration(well we just need a tiiny wiiny reason,dont we jaisi??)

later I went to watch a flick in the afternoon after having my brains full of all the rambling from day before,it was a decent movie..no complains..usual hindi happy-go-lucky scenario at display…watched it,grabbed a bite thereafter and came back coz the clock was ticking and I had to go back to my hostel otherwise I could be in deep shit.but reaching back I realized that its our friends birthday too and we had to plan a surprise party.thank goodness all the otha mates had gathered all the bits and pieces and I was just supposed to cook the curry and help them arrange..the theme was decided upon…we had a bash,a real good tym with all of us loosing our sanity(and um !!clothes later)…the warden too couldn't resist and joined us..it was crazy!!!
We had to put an end to this insanity as our books were screaming outta the closets and we had to rush back to complete those unfinished assignments..what happened next is my actual motive of writing the post..
We heard screams...actual screams...bang!!!doors closing with loud thuds...insults and profanity...first we thought it must be just in light humour but later i realised what was the actual thing..

as i went to my frnz room to take to her about an unresolved discussion i was alarmed to see her in tears..gosh!!her face was swollen and she was siting in the corner of her very own room..i inquired and found that she actually was amidst the whole bedlam and madness tht we just heard and had made fun of slyly(oops!!)...she was inquiring about this shattering sounds of bottles she heard in the balcony from the passerby while this another girl was sleeping..awakened by the sound this "sleeping beauty" comes and asks her to shut up rudely...at first my friend thought of cursing her but then she explained why she was there..and she was thriving no personal pleasure from it..but that girl was a maniac she shot back and yelled her throats out...but then my friend or rather i should say my senior couldn't hold back and she yelled motherf***** at her...at first girl called her names...hehehehe...it was a pure Hindi filmy masala cat fight!!!! but then she followed my friend and slammed her door open and tried to THROTTLE her...we were shocked..i mean was that for real..???(( somebody actually strangling somebody in front of our eyes as if a video was rolling and we were those left over paid spot people supposed to behave as ecstatic morons!!!))...we bent over to loosen her claws(i mean claws!!)..phew!!!what showdown..lol...we are still not able to sink in the whole spectacle that occurred then and there.. we are still laughing our asses off in bewilderment..good lord!!!

and the victim is still wondering whether she is still in the right epoch...and is amused..and is still uttering mother****** under her breath..
moral of the story :watch ur mouth!!

funny things happen in hostels!!I sometimes ponder whether i could have been moulded the same Way if i didn't have this private space???what if i had not gone through the whole experience of being one of the nivedita girls???..well,a place where everybody can see girls standing and looking at the outside world but nobody can help them :)..they seemed like mental asylum prisoners..where more then bringing ,asking for food was the actual triumph,hostel rooms were so crappy that even a pig might rise his eyebrows for minute!!..warden eavesdropping And lalaji with his deliberately untied dhoti(yucks!!) looking at us like a bulldog staring...where study table is meant to be auspicious for every other load except than books..that might be manhandling it!!..where our day ends exactly the same time people get out of their homes...and yes where you find people strangling each other and knocking each others senses out.-----------------funny place but i like it somehow cause i know that its my second home now..and well where would i find this kind of flavour in my life Anywaz except then here...
cheers to the anarchy!!!

snip snap!!!

I used to think n read about bad hair days and mistakes while being the centre of slaughter with dozens of scissors and poking eyes staring hard to get to your brain while confusing your momentum altogether….but it happening to me was what I had not thought in any outlandish instant… I went to the parlor the other day for a trim, unlike my first visit to her where I got caught in a whirlwind of indecision, this time I was completely sure of what I wanted...a trim with a tiiiiny bit more of an angle (and I said tiny). And just styling because I was beginning to love my long Hair so parting with them seemed stupid…that’s all!!!...but she seemed pretty excited about the whole thing and asked me what exactly did I have in mind... It's always hard to know what to say in these instances, I find. I know I may give off the impression sometimes of a hardened comedic veteran of wit and timing, but believe me, in the flesh and in the company of strangers I lose a lot of verbosity. Fortunately I had planned for this. "I want to keep the length and rest u know what," I recited...Oh boy!!!She sure didn’t know what and I still curse myself for this confession…
I settled myself into that comfy chair and totally confident about the lady in charge I started going thru the pages of a glam magazine they handed over to me. she started playing around with my tresses and I was much more engrossed in what went wrong between shahid and kareena..why kid rock was arrested and blah blah!by the time I looked above I was in a state of dismal and woe…I My frontal bangs were hacked off in the middle of my forehead making me look like those extremely creepy porcelain china dolls. My hair was also incredibly short and there were absolutely no redeeming qualities of the haircut. I was ZAPPED!!!! If you haven't figured from the tone that I had a bad haircut experience, I'm saying it literally. I look like I've been stalked and mutilated by a rogue grass cutter.
I have spent time putting my hair up in ponytails and pushing my bangs back, trying to make them disappear. If it were winter I'd just put a hat on, but it's not (well the weather suggests it might soon be) and my hats are all designed to keep the cold out. I keep willing myself not to think about it, hoping the feeling will pass, but it's been three days already...
So I thought how I can categories it into no entry zone...


Sign 1: The price is cheaper than the average... NEVER save on haircuts especially if you're in a new place.

Sign 2: Your hair stylist chops hair instead of snipping them. I define Chopping as the crude execution of a direct cut on hair and snipping as the artful execution of skilful and small cuts on the hair. I was gasping as she enthusiastically chopped in pure jubilee...

Sign3: Our hair stylist uses the shaver more often than the scissors. There's nothing more to say about this... I'm not a marine or a monk... she shouldn't have to guess on that.

Sign 4:the attendants keep taking to you so that you don’t have to think about the mishap that’s going to occur while dresser making all possible equipments of destruction geared up for the warfare

Sign 5: There's nobody in the salon...

Sign 6: The hair stylist doesn't have a cool looking hairstyle.

Sign 7 :She told me she had 10years of experience... :'( Well, she did give me the most stylish hairstyle actually. Only I am 20 years late...

Sign 8: And the most imp one…she kids you…imagine after having that ridiculous chop she and all her attendants yell around in glory that I look like Ashley Simpson now…ah watt????....and l feel like murdering for a good because so several victims like me could be saved



That you know these signs, thou must be kind and spread it to others. And if you already know these, shame on me for not exercising better common sense; but at least I’m trying to warn others about it. :

Ps: In all, it wasn't that bad... I don't look like a poodle, just like a toilet brush. I must say that I did get my money's worth in terms of amount of hair cut per rupee paid…

Im still coping….

I want...

I want to rise above the whole concept of woe and angst cause without it bliss wouldn’t be prized…I want to call out to my mother and comfort her with all the amity she requires cause inside I am yearning for our long lost time …I want to, when evening fall sand shadows quickly lengthen That I have made somebody glad, Some weakness I have strengthened….. You send different people in our lives all along, and when things don't go right we wonder what's wrong...I want to Help us to learn a lesson from each test you give, so we can use it to help others know how to live…I want to have relations I covet not those that I have inherited cause they don’t comfort me the way my appointed ones do...I don’t want to check my zipper whenever I see big eyes staring... I want to trounce all my fellow contenders cause without which I won’t be able to perceive what victory tastes of...I want to be me and don’t want to ham it up no matter how many eyes move away....I want to buy my brother the coupé he always dreamt of without him asking me even once... I want to suck all the knowledge available in this orb cause that I know can engage me..i don’t know the purpose of my life But I know when this time will come When the purpose, ethical or not I will understand, I will conquer, I will succeed ,A breeze will make me fall, with no purpose…

Cringing in the fringes...

Its about this section of the fairer sex whom when u encounter reminds u of thousands of glossy pages in the magazines devoted to her. Whose elbows are weapons and rib cage weighs upon the fact that eve was fashioned from a bone…who is proclaimed to be the hub of purpose ness and incredible will power…well, ill agree to a lil bit of that too for how else would she survive those days when nothing but comfort eating can help, work out regularly and keep her wayward taste buds leashed?...the women other women want to pose as..”The thin women”

Everyday, all the time I stumble across the phrase everywhere...”Being fat and ugly”…wait a min!!!Being fat doesn’t preclude being ugly…it doesn’t mean lack of purpose and gut. Not unhappiness at the least and not consumed by envy of the thin. For some time ive endured this celebration of young women with gritted teeth. not because im fat or anything but because coz am annoyed being lumped into the category known as fat (im still too far from filling its prerequisites yet)…thin is generally misunderstood as chic, confident and for all the wrong reasons as sophisticated and beautiful…who has the figure to carry…) and then I, u and the lamppost feel lyk asking. What figure?

The time has come for straight talk…from gut... Padded with slight swell of flesh…why be thin (the ones who are congenitally equipped with this curse as my friend Roma are excluded from this discussion) or even try to inflict this whole concept upon us. I agree our collarbone vll never be able to see the sunlight again... But being thin doesn’t mean womanliness…we are comfortable the way we are. And in control... We feel like the woman… Like the way we look and for goodness sake don’t tell us how to look.

Therz a hell lot of difference between thin and THIN…thin ness in my age is like adolescent naivety... which comes to term with age but women dressing as teenagers look like muttons dressed as lamb.. a man in his early days feels on the top of the world dating a thin girl.. Walking arm in arm with the right signal.. Him dating success..Him = cool

But when it comes to marrying a girl, even the coolest guy around town will seldom behave any different from an average goatherd in himachal. In bed and life, he wants substance. He wants something to hold on to; to cling and nestle against. If the toss up is between a cushion and a coat hanger, he will settle for the rounded contours rather than the straight and the narrow…

But y do u need the other sex to acquaint u of ur beauty…better to have somebody who can sail through thick and thin with u(literally)….. Why persevere so hard to resemble the androgynous stick insect...im not fat nor thin... My everyday growing tummy doesn’t make me nervous or sad. Just makes me feel the hole in the pocket because of the growing dress size.. And sad because the last one don’t fit me anymore…but voila I buy the same in a size bigger and im glistening again...
(Adapted from nair)

Internal aplomb!!

The hollow minds, blank faces, creepy attitude or maybe my wrong acuity. (though I cant say that confidently)... The crowded streets, with its sleek cars, ready to knock any one, in an outrage of heavy traffic, has always intrigued me.. baffled about my own existence..getting answers to scores of questions i used to have..having several new questions to be answered..playing a new role everyday..exihilaration of a new relationship..misery of concluding an old one..I for once have started to feel like the woman, the free bird I had always wanted to be. i was overwhelmed, how people could be so distant from each others lives, while back at home, I can say that everything, owed an explanation to my mum,if not ,then maybefriends. But now just my conscience is my questionnaire. I feel happy being on my own usually. But nostalgia grips me during moments of desolation… peculiar... I miss mom, the only actual friend that I must b having since I have a memory, not because she was posing as one but because she chose not to abandon this role even after hell load of internal strife. This was probably her most difficult charge and not having a dad was not much of an issue…though not insensitively but practically. My secret gate keeper..cant blame life after all..somethings are not just another reason to crib..n not every painful demise results in sad ending!!

Dilemma...

Its hard to accept, thinking, that there will be a time,
When you’d no longer be there
For me to gaze upon in delight ….

because…………….

There lies a fortress in my mind,
Concealed from every view,
Which hides in darkness, well confined,
My thoughts and dreams of you

No one understands me like you do;
You see me deep inside,
You choose to overlook my flaws,
Chiefly the ones I try to hide…


I have my reasons to deem wat I do,
Coz it is me who has endured it through….

A truth filled with blessing and wonder,
A truth with a voice as loud as thunder.
A truth that’s Insistent Something, nameless and unsought,
And as candour as rambling from a 10 year olds thought…..



I would miss a lot of things..


It's the kiss....before the exit
It's the bliss.....after having a fight
It's the remembering certain dates
It's the tempering when one is late
It's the memories you leave at the door
It's the muse... you call your amour….



I would.. in point of fact…miss life!!!

way to nowhere...

This is the commencement, this is the end
It is everything, from then to now…
Every payment


The past and the future come together like water and oil,
It's so clean yet covered in soil.
I see the light, yet I'm in the dark,
I'm so together and yet so broken apart


I want to break the doors
Holding back my dream,
I want to run away
But there's nothing out there.
I want to shatter windows,
That look out on nowhere


For I am scared and poignant now
More than ever at present.
Tears cloud my eyes as pen meets paper,
And I hope for my ascent.


Am I running from something I cannot???
Running from self is very brief
Before we are again hunting for relief……
Yet I follow my perilous path,
To wherever it mite be leading and well, it may,
Onto something new and even more rewarding.

Exquisiteness fades away. Cause stops it none…
Time ticks along and years fly bye...
Waiting for the moment and looking for the place
To have the perfect conduit, to be the vital ace


Happiness is that I chase
And hope to find someday.
I'll count the means again I'm sure,
There is always another way . . .

Manifest content!!!

I ,for all real reasons, am sometimes perplexed by the satirical way our life seems to roll on…sometimes
So, immaculate, that the evil seems to be a teacher in disguise and regrets don’t have a place to occupy…and at times,invidious,that u can loathe even the things u need to be grateful about...Probably that’s the way its supposed to function maintaining the serene balance between “what is” and moving a step further to attain “what ought to be”.
A girl in my close connection, rather an immediate cousin of mine, got through a national assessment recently…and her effigy changed for ever. In the eyes of all…a beautiful female being considered vain 4 d past x many years had to carve a niche for herself to prove that she was worth the love and attention she was deprived of all these years. Materialistic pleasures weren’t kept off hand as she had fabulous parents but mental calm wasn’t one of her belongings... Pusillanimity, fear, seclusion, quietness were her daily playmates. Her purpose, prime mover and first cause was to live the dream she wanted to…and so she did. But what intrigues me is that how can a mere white parchment of paper rank your credibility and accountability? Just one analysis proved her worth? Why is social stature and acclaim of great consequence? I have seen her ridiculed 4 being “the way she was” and not being “what she should have been”…but possibly now she’ll have d individualism to be what she wants to be…(yeah!!!But how better it would have been if she or many others as she didnt have to go through this trial of possession of equality in ways like this)…
I’m evoked by the conventions laid by us on us…her triumph delights me. her longest battle and the only victory…but makes me exasperated altogether thinking of numerous others who didn’t get the right ‘shot’ at the right time and are still waiting for the so called parameters to tell them that they are worth the belief…that your dreams are your own…
Lets hope we can get out of this illusive world of dos and don’ts and do what we actually can do the best…there aren’t any guidelines to happiness and sorrow…no set parameters on how life needs to be lived…we know it better than anybody else cause we are living it…..

Valediction!!

Well I think or rather i'm sure that any 19 year old or who has had a brush with d
Whole experience of being this 'professional' 4 a while in d process of attaining a few
extra bucks n grooming 4 instance (a very marked controversial word though) agrees
that it’s not as glittery n glam as it appears on d tabloids though.....not to d
least even....
I 4 one have a little but an influencing experience at this call centre at remotest
Of all places.....one thing is for sure that it isn’t about people clad in super
Chic executive suits and there r no pretty faces across d table...there is a lot
more at stake than it appears to..

having its existence amidst a town which wasn’t an area of competition for many
gave me an edge over d whole thing n having this tête-à-tête with each one of
them at one point or another...

being surprisingly the only female (not to mention another in d manage.)in dozens of
men puzzled me to a great deal for a bare instant but then imagining the degree
Of distress the SIMILAR SEX could have caused me in a place like this with
Constant vacuous blabber made me feel at peace. Every character that I conversed
Within these four walls has taught me a thing or two (though unknowingly!!!) n has
Left an imprint on me....

I cam a novice with a longing to experience what I heard so much about and
Believe me (dean style) got a decent amount to take along....though not
Categorizing it as good or bad!!!!Lemme start with d ppl behind this so called
international thingy "genius"
Tarun sir n neena ma'm..., d authority as told to us...have to b thankful to sir
For the blissful ten min he gave me to stick to this machine went I wanted it d
Most...a total sleep addict n a softie at heart (umm at least that’s what I’ve
seen)...n his partner in d crime is the lady who handles the emotions n ahh
Caters to d sentiments of this establishment....

D actual brains and d ace behind this network is ohh soo famous mr carter.d
Enigma, passion n zeal he possesses for his work is laudable n inspiring...all of
We have spent the actual time n space with him on the floor n d place is neva on
its toes when he is not around. The constant"sale nikalo yaar","woh manegi yaar
bahen banao maa bano" has given us enough reasons to burst into fits of laughter
More than once...but later ive realized that this stupid thing actually works...ha
Can show u a 'piece de resistance' with not so grammatically correct but
Undeniably the most convincing speech...believe me guys is what comes
Effortlessly out of his maw...my meticulous mentor in this warfare....but beware
Don’t get on d wrong side of him or things turn ugly...
ps: those sluggishly shoed in feet need to be set free!!!!!!!!

How can I not mention someone I have actually conversed with about I guess
Anything (ironically) n everything....Mr. masood or riz as his frnz call him....how
Much I know him or how well was always a food for thought for every single soul
Around...the mystery still remains!!!!
An amazing person, one who led me past every fear I had for this channel and
walked along as a bulwark around me...stupendous talker and atrociously
Flirtatious (till u want to hide Ur head like an ostrich)...strong willed n a kid
At heart.....quiet but eloquent. A total freak!!!!Learnt a lot n developed this
Inexpressible bond.....bless u!!!

There are a couple of others in this "elite clan" who I didn’t get a chance to get
Personal with... cute smiled n good hearted Manu aka mrityunjay sir(as told)..N
Darling of d agent’s surjit sir..A great talker...n rumored a rapper too...guys
Went berserk n were gushing about him within just a day in training...shucks!!!I
missed it.....

But my actual playmates were d ppl I called along with...the agents...my sweetest
N closest one was sardar (as I call
him)..Harry...genuine...funny...miser (ooppss!!) n fantabulous person who i told
Every kind of detail about d time I spent in here...max...or rahul...a consistent
Worker. Lady killer (d only sales he had were ladies n spoke to dm 4 hours
aimlesly..n stuck o to hz cell as if he was born with it...ajay bhai or rather
Didi coz he had dis weird femenine side to him that he couldn’t hide anymore and
loved to dance (like chameli n lovd paro) n cook...hehe...u got to c his moves..bt
an adorable guy...vinay d google.com as he had every info u'd want about anybdy
at his disposal..wen did he get all dat tym...rex..d gizmo freak who taught us d
art of hacking gprs n using d services for free..he rocks!! bali...an outspoken
true charsi who treated me like a younger sis...felt damn comfortable with
him..n many more...

I lived a lifetime in this mere month n hope to encounter each one of them once
Again in days to come...thez ppl rock!!!fabulous callers..n yeah a piece of
Advice drop d side talks..U people r smarter than that...wat u sow so shall u
Reap!!!!Will miss ya people n specially d cab ride but wana go back to my real life
than this reel life...bestiez n lots of luck 4m my side......blesses!!!!

Questions....

While sitting quietly by my window on this hot afternoon n gazing out at two quiet
Pups sitting by the road sides I was wondering what all of us want from our
Lives....ok 2day im pursuing my graduation and eventually will do whatever is in
Store for me but what next...when will this quest take a halt......
Probably I guess happiness is d mother of all goals, what we really want beyond
happiness, is to rediscover d mystery of our being I
think.....HAPPINESS.....literally a state of being free mentally in a state of
satisfaction...I opine that it’s rather a state of consciousness that always
exists within us though distracted by all kinds of veils...
Whenever we discover the real joy within everything seems to fall back into place
and connection to one n all is inevitable...a faith that nothing is impossible
or beyond our power...this power gives us freedom from limitations and allows us
to realize what actually v aspire to n d abundance v possess....I find myself
becoming beacons of light n love and v nurture d atmosphere around us...even more
significantly it improves the relationships around us n makes them
fulfilling. more d happiness more v experience the synchronicity and meaningful
Coincidence of desire fulfillment n our intentions being realized d right way...
maybe im too naive to understand d whole complexity of this cosmic mind but when i'm
in this state of glee I feel as every natural power is eavesdropping to place d
parts of d puzzles into their respective places...


I’m delighted 4 whatever ive got till now...but i’m curious as to y things exist d way
they do...y is there so much dissatisfaction on a personal front n I don’t exclude
myself 4m that...but what I strongly believe in is...is KARMA..Blindly...

Don’t know y i’m writing all this but recent course of events have driven my thought
Process even more vigorously and as suggested by somebody freedom of speech cures
all mental evils...consequence is what im yearning for....